The Fun Thing About Christian Books

I love Christian books. As of about two days ago, I discovered the Christian section of Borders. I found one book that I absolutely love, it was so funny to see. It's called 801 Questions Kids ask about God. ON the back it said "Do we have to thank God for the food even if we don't like it?". I think it's hilarious. Little kids just crack me up. I think there is no better place to see God than in the face of a smiling six-year-old. They are just so loving and happy. And no nonsense. If you smell funny, that child will tell you. But when you look pretty, they will say that too. Anyways, so the Christian section of the bookstore. Way better than the Christian bookstore. Because they have books that the Christian bookstore, mostly the books that are meant for people interested in Jesus but aren't Christains. Most Christian bookstores I've seen only have books for people who are already Christains. But you know what? The books that are trying to convince people that God is good and that Christ really was and is the Son of God are so much more exciting and interesting. To me, it's so wonderful to see so many books dedicated to helping people understand this amazing love. It lifts my spirit just to see them, even moreso to come in a week later and see which books have been purchased.

A lot of money as of late has gone into the Christian aisle of the bookstore. There are so many more that I want to read! Right now I am working on the case for Christ. It is wonderful so far. It very skillfully explains what can be explained and leaves alone what needs to be left alone, which I love. There has to be some magic in the relationship between us and God for it to work. We cannot fathom how one man can love so many people or why. But we are not supposed to question that. We are merely human, and trying to explain how God can love seven billion people at once and be with them all is like trying to explain the concept of color to an alien from a planet where no one has eyes. It is beyond us.

I recently finished a book called Blue Like Jazz. It was amazingly eye-opening and heartfelt. Many parts made me laugh out loud, and so many things struck my heart and made me pray right then. One of the biggest things in that book was how God says to love your neighbor as yourself. But one of the characters loves his neighbor and not himself. God speaks these words to his heart, that he should love his neighbor as himself and it is so true. Why is it so much easier to forgive and love others than ourselves? This week's past sermon at my church was about becoming a disciple of Christ, and how as a disciple we forgive and God has already forgiven our sins, so why can't we forgive ourselves? I have struggled with that in so many ways. I have done things that I cannot believe I did, that are written down in the Bible explicitly DON'T DO THIS. And yet God forgave me before I even did it. It is very hard to try and forgive oneself when you know how unworthy you are. But God still loves us! That makes me so happy.

It also makes me happy to read the bible and then go find verses that confuse me explained. Such as God hated Esau but He loved Jacob. I have a book in the stack to read that explains that. And you know, even without the explanation, I am glad that God loves me. I am glad that there are things that I don't understand.

I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar this past weekend and at one point, Judas is hanging onto Jesus, sobbing uncontrollably. And Jesus just held him for a minute before letting him go and saying yes, you have to do this. I realized at that moment, that every time we go to bed in tears and cry until we sleep, every time we cry so hard we can't breathe, every time we hold ourselves tightly because there is no one else to hug, God is there. We fall asleep crying because He puts us to sleep to end the pain of that day. We cannot breathe because He is squeezing us so tightly. And we hug ourselves so that we may curl up into a little ball on His lap. Maybe we don't see it. But I hope that's what it looks like when I cry.

I realize that this particular post is just a mess of thoughts concerning God and life and so to end it, here's another. Today I learned how to drive stick shift. I don't know if I have ever wanted God to be with me more than I did then! There are too many things to focus on. How can there be three pedals when I only have two feet? And my feet? They do not reach all the way. If I want to push the clutch in all the way, I have to slide down and lean back in the seat. I pray that should I ever make it out of the parking lot, that God stays in the car with His seatbelt on. Goodnight to you all. God bless!